Some Such: Nicole Loher
Nicole Loher on Grit, Poetry, and Saying Yes to Yourself
Nicole Loher is low-key one of my icons. She’s an untold number of years younger than me, and I remember reading her Tumblr more than decade ago and admiring her driven take on fashion and fitness influencing. Nicole remains the only thing I ever really knew about Tumblr.
Today, she’s an adjunct professor at NYU, a sustainability strategist, a communications consultant, and now, an author. Do I sound proud? I feel proud. Through my lens as a mom to teenage girls, Nicole is someone I look at and think, “Wow, her parents did an incredible job. What’s the secret?” I’m curious how you instill Nicole-like grit in young women, and honestly, I want some for myself! I should add that behind all the hard work and badass energy is a genuinely sunny, approachable sensibility that makes Nicole even more impressive. When I learned she was publishing a collection of poems (out this Tuesday, June 24!!!), I asked if I could interview her, and I was amazed and thrilled that she said yes.
If you’re drawn to non-linear paths and the magic of trusting yourself, you’re going to love this conversation.
Last thing: this type of content is a little different for me. If you enjoyed, please hit “like” leave a comment, or drop me a line.
XX, Jen
JK: Tell me the quick timeline of your professional history. I know it includes a lot! NL: Hah. Ok it was fashion influencing. Then working at Nars. Then Christian Louboutin. Fitness influencing, then Climate, plus I’d been teaching at that point for 10 years. I started writing poetry as a means of processing my divorce around seven years ago.
JK: So what might seem so non-linear in some instances, all carried the thru-line of your signature sky-high work ethic. Can you talk about that work ethic and how some of these seemingly unrelated changes have evolved? NL: My parents are both founders. They started as blue-collar, worked their way up to million dollar businesses. I grew up watching people pave their own path and pivot, and I learned that it’s ok to not follow one direct path. The most affirming moment happened when I first left a job in fashion and my dad was really supportive. He told me that most people stay way too long and he was proud of me for knowing when to pivot. I actually don’t do particularly well with change, but I have a pretty short tolerance for being unhappy professionally. That’s where the pivots come from; why not make a change, especially if you can? That said, underneath a lot of the change has always been marketing and communications; that’s the thru line.
JK: What’s helped you navigate some of these changes? NL: My mom has always instilled in me that you do not burn bridges. Find an element of gracefulness and be kind. I did burn one bridge and that was an active choice. I’m not someone to be nice to absolutely everyone; there’s a limit.
JK: Where does your legendary work ethic come from? NL: My dad was a dairy farmer and had a trash route which he scaled and sold before he turned 30. My mom started later, and she worked her way up from an administrative assistant to owning seven locations over the course of twenty years. People see success, but they do not see that they had no formal background or training. No money backing to save them. They see outcomes, but not the work behind it all. We had our electricity cut off a few times. My work ethic comes from watching them and being inspired by their success, but also knowing that it can go away at any moment.
Essentially, if I’m able to put in 10% more than I want to every single day, then to me- that’s still putting an additional foot forward to save myself from any pitfall. I moved to NYC with $40 cash. I figured out my own entrepreneurial path with no business degree. I take calculated risks, and I bet on myself.
If I’m able to put in 10% more than I want to every single day, then to me- that’s still putting an additional foot forward to save myself from any pitfall.
JK: Does your “10% more” practice ever cause burn out? NL: No, because I’m religious about working out, therapy and making time and space for the things I need in order to not burn out. Since starting my own company I am the least burned out I’ve been in a long time. I do not subscribe to most corporate America ideals around making as much money as possible in order to be successful. I strive to make good money so I can afford a nice life, but I don’t aspire to great extravagance.
JK: In terms of motivation, do you ever wake up feeling like “not today!” NL: Yes, that’s very human. For sure. Those days are less and less. I do tend to take on other people’s emotions, which stems from feelings of inadequacy. I’m working on it. When I feel unmotivated– it sounds counterintuitive, but I just take a break. I have a weird ritual of a 20 minute nap. It helps.
I have a weird ritual of a 20 minute nap. It helps.
JK: Let’s talk about poetry, was writing poetry always in the background? How did you start and can you speak to the space it occupies in your life today? NL: Poetry has been in my life for seven or eight years now. It started when I was going through my divorce. I was also going to therapy. Therapy was helping, but it wasn’t enough, and I needed an additional way to process. Picking up a pen and paper is the thing that stuck, and I did not stop. I still write today, in private. I’m trying to figure out the community part because writing in private is so, well, private. It’s why promoting is tricky; selling self-therapy as an art form can feel really vulnerable.
JK: How did you turn writing in private into a book deal? NL: One day I woke up and basically decided I wanted to publish a book. My therapist (the first person I told) said “fuck yeah!” but obviously my therapist didn’t know how to go about publishing a book. I went home and hired an author I really admired to help me pull together a package to submit to publishing houses.
JK: Ok wow, tell me more about the author you hired. NL: is a NY Times Bestselling author. I was a fan of her work1 for a long time, including her Substack and I noticed she made reference to offering “airplane” sessions, at the bottom of one of her newsletters. I reached out and we wound up working together really closely and are now really good friends through both writing and running.
JK: Is there going to be more poetry, more books? NL: I’m not sure I’ve announced this anywhere else, but yes!— it was a two book deal and I’m working on the second book. Hopefully it teaches people how to write poetry.
JK: What role do fashion and fitness still play in your current day-to-day? NL: Fitness is non-negotiable. Every day I do some sort of activity, but I’m not training for anything anymore. Well, except my yoga certification, but I’m not sure I’ll teach, I’m just doing it for the challenge of doing it.
When it comes to fashion, I still love the creativity, but fashion has taken a bit of a backseat because my values system has shifted. I have a small wardrobe: two pairs of jeans, two shirts, one blue, one black - that kind of thing. I went through a phase of buying something new every single weekend, I’m sure we all did. I feel bad about that and I still feel weird about buying. If I do buy something, I want it to be something that I’ll have for many many years.
JK: Where do you find inspiration? NL: I’m pretty over the online world because I’ve been there for so long. I like bingeing old movies. I love old book stores. I read a lot of poetry. My favorite thing is to go into a used book store and peruse the used poetry section. Being in nature. Being back in New York after a year of living in Houston has been really invigorating.
JK: What people, places, interests or practices feel like your own "True North"
NL: My mom and dad for sure. My eight siblings, any time we’re all together. It’s chaos because they all have kids, but it’s centering. My two best friends, Chelsea and Rose; they feel like siblings. My partner, Eric. I love surfing at Rockaway beach. Hot yoga, meditating. I like to nerd out on research papers and reading.
JK: What would you tell 2015-era Nicole Loher? NL: I would say “learn to listen to your gut now, and stop working for corporations. Do your own thing and start now.” I’m so happy with how my life worked out. There are a few people around me with similar trajectories who started before me in leaving corporate and going out on their own. I’m a few years behind, I wish I’d started earlier.
Learn to listen to your gut now, and stop working for corporations. Do your own thing and start now.
JK: What does trusting your gut actually feel like? NL: It feels physical. If I leave a situation feeling excited, that’s an indication that I’m on the right path. Now that I’ve been living this way for a while, when I meet someone, I get an immediate sense: yes or now. I’m pretty selective. If I walk away confused, the opportunity probably isn’t for me.
If I walk away confused, the opportunity probably isn’t for me.
JK: How would those closest to you describe you? NL: My partner Eric would say I’m the sweetest person. My parents would probably say that I’m super driven and hard working. My best friends would say I’m a total weirdo.
JK: You seem happy and grounded. Are you? NL: I am! I think it was turning inward and honoring myself and what I was feeling in my body at the moment. I’m beginning to take actions that feel more aligned with the person I want to be. The vibes feel good or they don’t feel good.
Quickly…
Favorite book you’ve read over the last year? The Shoutouts by Gabrielle Korn
A place you’re dying to travel? New Zealand
Go to snacks? Right now I'm loving homemade cinnamon scones.
Go to album? Dots and Loops by Sterolab
Favorite piece of jewelry? When my Grandpa passed away, my mom had a custom necklace made out of the gold and jade he used to wear everyday. I now wear that everyday.
If a film was made about your life, who would you want to play you? Lorde.
TV show you think everyone should binge? I don't watch TV :'(
Last recipe you tried that wowed you? Sunday Brisket from Molly Baz!
What is your biggest extravagance? Moving cross country twice in 11 months.
You can purchase Nicole’s book, Love, Loss and Everything in Between, read her Substack follow her on Instagram or enjoy her Tumblr archive (it took me less than two minutes to reset my password…:-)
has the definitive summer office survival guide
of Unfancy / OG capsule wardrobe fame is now on Substack. Huzzah! (as my 16 yr old would say). My fifth grade self would have loved this, too.
is new-to-me on Substack and I’ve been hanging on every word of her nutrition advice. This post on what to do when sugar cravings hit feels like it was written directly TO me.
So I look at that picture, and think, Well, people are criticizing it, and they’re wrong, to be quite blunt. This interview is…ah…not going to make you feel any better about Ryan Murphy.
Here we go again with capri pants.
Voice of a Generation(X), Talking Heads, have released a new video in honor of Psycho Killer’s 50th anniversary starring Saoirse Ronan. Yes, 50th
10 Trader Joe’s Beauty Products. This overlooks my two favorites: the massive Hand & Body Cream with Moroccan Argan Oil and the Formula 3 in one Shampoo Conditioner Body Wash (I only ever use this as a body wash).
I am extremely taken with the size and silliness of these (Isabel Marant) earrings.
These sandals are the perfect intersection of beach and punk rock.
I was going to make a Some Such Whatnot summer playlist, but Haim has a new album out, so I think we should just all listen to that instead.
Note to self: read absolutely everything by Kara
I loved Nicole’s take on trusting her gut and the way she seems like she really knows what’s for her, what’s not, what her boundaries are, etc.
Also, blessings to you for the “what to do about sugar cravings” link bc this girl is one giant sweet tooth this summer.
How did I miss the new Psycho Killer video??? Ty. (Loved the interview, too!)