February Needs to Do Better
Flu survival, time management, pretty things & more
It’s February! Here’s hoping it’s happy.
January felt like all of 2020 crammed into one month and stuffed into a cabinet, just waiting for the next person to open it and get hit in the eye with a jar of olives.
January was not, in fact, magical. 2025 needs to get ahold of itself.
CATCH UP
Last week I had the flu. The last time I remember having the flu, I was 10. I’m a target for stomach viruses, but flu season always seems to miss me. Well this one got me good. What helped the most was RESTING for a solid four days. I watched TV, napped, read and took baths. My kids are at the age where this is (sort of) ok. Parents who get sick and have younger kids have no such luxury.
Here’s what helped: layering Advil and Tylenol on a precise schedule. Cough medicines— specifically NyQuil and Theraflu— did not help at all, and I think possibly made me feel worse (painful, dry cough/chest, crazy sinus pressure). My mom made me gallons of chicken soup which was the best thing ever, I also tried this bone broth that I see everyone raving about: good-not-great. A random “so sick can’t sleep” trick I’ve learned lately is this: go to bed as early as possible. Put some sort of a sleep aid: Tylenol PM, Benadryl or something prescription-strength on your nightstand and take it only if You wake up miserable in the middle of the night. This works much better than taking something earlier in the night only to wake up in misery and watch the sunrise. Electrolytes: so important, never get dehydrated. And when my entire face was in agony I ran this device over my cheekbones in a figure-eight pattern around my eyes (like tracing the outline of glasses) and it felt incredible afterwards.
I also wound up with that crazy cough that makes you feel like you are possessed by a demon. I was pleasantly surprised by how well these gummies calmed everything down to the point where I could rest.
The flu also demands a strong dose of television. It just does. Plant yourself in bed or on the couch as best you can and watch everything (not the news though, lol!). I finished Emily in Paris: 2.5 stars (as expected). Would have loved to see any one of the male leads have something interesting to say/do. I watched most of Hacks, 4.5 stars. Jane Smart is in a league of her own. I tried with Succession (2 stars, sorry) but ultimately thought the whole thing takes itself way too seriously and Kieran Culkan’s character was not enough to make me keep watching. I have heard that later seasons get better- so- I may pick it back up. The ‘stealth wealth’ black baseball cap is cool, I guess.
Moving on, Shrinking (5 stars) was phenomenal. Witty, charming, hilarious, poignant. I don’t think descriptions or trailers do it justice (which is not a dig at promotional attempts- it’s just too good to be summarized). Shrinking is one of those special, brilliant ensemble casts that works so well together.
also posted about this, and I hope she does a style breakdown on Liz (Christa Miller, who also played Jordan on Scrubs— another perfect character).As I come back to life, I am still very devoted to this salad. I made fondue following this recipe (you don’t even need a double boiler, just a heavy bottomed skillet). I ordered TWO pairs of these sweatpants (purple and red) after reading this post by
(I’ll send back whichever size isn’t best). I joined the Kate McLeod fan club with this purchase, and I got READERS for the first time. I followed ’s lead and got these; I feel extremely cool wearing them.Ok, now after kicking the can down the road for many weeks, I am ready to discuss time management.
TIME MANAGEMENT
Organization and strong time management skills do not come naturally to me. If you think you’ve seen me do something ‘organized’ lately, I guarantee you there was grit behind it. I probably had to think to myself “what would someone who really has her sh$% together do here?” and then I did that thing. And often times the organized “thing” I feel so proud of winds up being the most basic “yeah duh” solution, and someone else comes over top of me with a spreadsheet about it. I once shared a nanny with another very cool mom who seemingly had her sh$% together and we were marveling about how this nanny was so good at organizing drawers. I was like “oh man, our drawers are the worst!” and the other mom said, “no way OURS are the worst” The nanny solved the debate by confirming that the other mom’s drawers were in fact, much worse. “I have other good qualities,” she shrugged.
I HAVE OTHER GOOD QUALITIES. That day changed my life a little.
So…type A’s will get very little out of this (unless you have the shoppies & like desk supplies…:-) But DDs (Disorganized Dreamers) those of us with messy hair, a huge problem with socks (IYKYK) and a real “misplaced papers” issue will likely relate.
Buckle up, this is going to be the most type-B organizational manifesto ever.
First some inconvenient truths:
Inconvenient Truth #1: There probably isn’t enough time to do all the things that are expected of you. Some may see this as a limiting belief, but I hold tightly to the hypothesis that, if you are a person living in 2025 with a career and/or family and/or friends and/or iPhone— you’re toast. When you consider—say— kids, a spouse, parents, in laws, friends, a boss, co-workers, your children’s teachers, your friends from this circle, your friends from that circle, clients, neighbors, vendors. They all probably expect something of you. Some of those expectations are important!! Some of it, you probably do, with varying degrees of quality and enthusiasm. But some of it falls by the wayside. There is not enough time to meet all the expectations to the standard that you want. It’s ok.
But.
Are you meeting some or most of your own expectations? Are your days, weeks and years in service to a life that feels how you want it to feel? I hope so.
I do think this matters, and I don’t think it’s selfish.
Inconvenient Truth #2: Time is more valuable than money. This sounds very 80s finance bro. Time is money! Actually I think time matters a lot more than money. How you invest your time and your focus is the DNA of your life. And look, I waste a lot of time (and money too, let’s be serious) but an awareness that has come with being 40+ is to at least be certain that I have solid authority over my own time. And that while I may occasionally waste my own time— I rarely permit someone else to waste my time. You wouldn’t give someone your money to go waste for you, right? So I am very conscious of not allowing other people to not waste my time, either. Some things that I’m wary of are:
Invitations that present as demands
One-sided conversations (and relationships, for that matter)
“Help” that is actually just virtue-signaling or performative
I don’t always succeed, but these are energies that I work to avoid, and the reason is a two-parter. First, they straight up waste time IN the moment. Second, they waste time after-the-fact in the re-hashing. The wasted time expands exponentially because now I have to think about it, talk about it and stew over it.
Waste your own time if you must, but don’t allow anyone waste your time for you.
Inconvenient truth #3 Life comes with a lot of admin work. Ew it’s so incessant isn’t it? I swear technology has actually done very little to lighten the load here. The forms, the applications, the insurance, the taxes, the warranty, the return label, the customer service, the email threads, the instruction manual. These things are relentless and they kick you while you’re down. This is not a waste of time, but it’s not a fun time, either.
THREE THINGS THAT HELP A LITTLE
Only Handle It Once (OHIO)
Administrative tasks are the least draining when they are delt with immediately. OHIO (Only Handle It Once) is a great acronym / reminder. Tasks become heavier as you carry them around with you. Something tactical that helps me a lot with this is to try to avoid checking email out of habit, and to only check it when I’m in a position to do something about it. I’ve missed out on so many things because I’ve seen the email at 6am, and then completely forgotten about it by the time I actually have space to act. Deleting email from my phone is helpful because then I can type the response, pay the bill, fill out the application, etc. and Only Handle It Once.
Set Timers - My personal answer to getting things done is to set timers. I’m not a total maniac about this, but I do know, deep in my soul, that it is the only way I can get important work done. It doesn’t matter if the important thing is “create big deliverable for work” or “clean kitchen.” I sort out how much time I think I need, and I set the timer on my phone (I follow the Pomodoro guardrail of not doing focused work for longer than 25 minutes. If you’ve never heard of Pomodoro, it’s a game-changing time management technique). While the timer is set I ONLY do that thing, and I try to move quickly. No checking texts, no shifting focus. Timer time is sacred time and I have conditioned myself to respect the timer.
Somehow, and I’m not totally sure why, I would have a very hard time “cleaning the kitchen” to completion. But if I set a timer for 8 minutes and I work as efficiently as possible on “cleaning the kitchen,” — the kitchen is pretty clean when the timer goes off. I never want to clean out my bag, but I can do anything for two minutes, and two minutes makes a huge difference. Does this approach leave things unfinished? Sometimes yes. But if something is close to the finish line, this technique gives me enough momentum to get it done. If it’s a longer task, I repeat the “timer” process a few more times.
Single Task- I am a disaster when I multitask. No matter what the tasks are, I guarantee that if I layer them on top of one another, they will all end up shabby. I can stretch while watching TV, but I cannot do meaningful work—like writing—while also replying to messages. The same goes for engaging with my family while paying attention to my phone. Single tasking is basically the OHIO rule but applied to action. Tasks I do while distracted are tasks that I typically get to repeat again and again.
These are just a few hacks that I’ve picked up that help me do things that make myself proud, without hyperextending myself or using complicated organizational tools or methods that I know I’ll just burn out on eventually. My biggest point is that there is more than one way to be successful in this world. We reward busy-ness and a bias for action, results and achievement, but a lot of us just aren’t wired that way and honestly? Thank god.
We have other good qualities.
Above, via
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Ooo...I had saved this one for this morning when I could indulge with a great cup of coffee and a quiet house. And, your words found my heart with Inconvenient Truth #2. "And that while I may occasionally waste my own time— I rarely permit someone else to waste my time. You wouldn’t give someone your money to go waste for you, right?" Damn, girl. Your January may have really stunk, but your writing was in oak barrels being perfected into something absolutely delicious. Thank you. I can begin February now.
This is brilliant! X